Gray aRea

My ego is glaring at me to react.

to take charge of these grey moments, and control it’s outcome.

im tired.
I’ve spent my entire life lingering in a state of transience.

where nothing is really secure or stable enough to build from. And every moment you’re having to start anew, reshaping your brand new world to the new impending circumstances that haven’t quite clearly been defined.
i loathe the moments that i have to adapt to survive. That i have to constantly fight for life and for what?
to be a token brown girl, always having to prove she is worth the space she stands in.

God … do you hear me?
i am tired.

im not sure this collective reinforcement of “society” is something I’d like to partake in any further. What is the point of fighting.

Is experience worth the vendor belt of suffering?

Being — for this long has allowed others to still be alive. But to what cost?

i need help. I need support. I need to feel hope.

signed - a disappointed and hopeless Fee