bloat

My psychologist and my doulas have encouraged me to speak to baby.

it’s been easy to write to baby. But harder to speak.
Spoken words that can change the molecules of water.

Water … we are 75% of.

I’ve learned this past week, that speaking to baby is like speaking to self.

not just thinking to self. But in a coo, in a gesture of nurture. I must speak to baby, who is 1 with me in this moment with love and compassion.

baby does not feel separate from me.

baby feels a part of me.
as we all started in this existence, stemming from One Soul.

as one thing — i must speak to me with love.

speaking is hard because i do not want to be vulnerable. I’ve understood that when i cry, i often lose myself to the avalanche of emotion — that my strength keeps from encumbering me

but i have to learn to speak. To be vulnerable. Or else, You … self and You Baby will not know how to flow through your emotions and let them go.

I don’t want you to carry the burden of an avalanche and get stronger the more capable you become at holding your tears back.

so i will speak to you. Even when i need to cry a little to translate things.

our words are our power to remake the world

it is our gift as ever growing and an evolving human species.

it is our gift as pieces of God becoming awake to ourselves.

i will use my words to speak kindly to Me and to You.

i will learn to Love me and in turn i will know how to love you better.

thank you for growing my experience by growing inside of me.

even in my homelessness i am so grateful to be your Mama and for the expansion you have placed on my soul because of It.

love Fee