Transition & Anxiety

i met with my teacher today. 

And I’m scared shitless of the affirmation she imparted on me.  

It’s the whisper of my soul, buried by the makings of this world, and amidst the concealment of Its secret place, repeats a truth It all but forgot the purpose of its origin. 

Those whispers, tenderly saving a sliver of hope to survive until morning, only to be broken down all over again and saved by that constant lulling. 

Every layer i shed of worldly makings, i hear my soul a little better, & my presence understands its precise purpose corresponding perfectly within the workings of this infinite universe.  

It scares me, to know God within my being. 

To say goodbye to all of this current beauty, It hasn’t even blossomed yet, but I’ve enjoyed the work of seeding and nurturing, i can’t imagine how much more beautiful this garden can be.

and to not know how to deal with the growing beauty.  

How to not lose myself in gratitude. I’m already in heaven just having my kids in one place. Imagine what more could be has almost stopped me from completely functioning.  

Literally been crying all week, in pain & now in gratitude and appreciation of this beauty. 

Guess i couldn’t know the severity of one without the other.  

holding onto my heart before i drift away.