Surviving UrBanization

snapchat memories have a subtle way of recounting years, since gone, of being well rested. Of being glowy, and radiating an energetic field of womanly beauty and sacredness

these days, my energy fields reads “Tired” and on a constant gaze and search for peace and rest.

the job feels more rewarding because i finally feel like i have a handle on how things, in my line of work, function.

ive experienced enough, I’ve witnessed enough.
and now I’m stepping into position, stepping into open spaces ready to do the work, I’ve been doing but with more wind and assurance in my sail.

I may be the most conscious I’ve ever been my entire life — and thee most tired.

why is It that all I’d like to do is rest, disconnect, and recharge.

i don’t really like outings unless they’re geared toward my childlike wonder,

and now that i have a person, Going out to receive the male interaction the human in me desires feels like a waste of energy.

ive been slowly transitioning into a human being who aspires peace before social connectivity or value.

so therefore, my feet haven’t been professionally pedicured in almost a year (maybe even longer), my face hasn’t been waxed in YEARS (😭 hella plural), my nani hasn’t been waxed since January,
- I’ve just gotten into buying new clothes because I’ve gone through my rotation of outfits so many times the clothing itself has started disintegrating and so have my shoes 😢.

im tired. And today not a tired that feels like i want to stop existing.
but tired that makes me want to accept VALUE and ABUNDANCE that is alive in every human being, awake or not, existing in merely Being.

im so tired of being tired i can finally accept a story that doesn’t identify it’s sense of Value with hard work, pain or suffering,

but truly identifies value with Just Being.

And in that Being, i am innate abundance.

and i live unbounded in this existence.

i create, i am peace, i am fun, i am magic, and i am magnetizing.

i enjoy, and i feel connected.