ANother year

Another year of relentlessness.

I thought of what would be if Lia was successful.

if she couldn’t be revived. If she left this world the way she wanted to, because the pain of our realities is too much to bear.

I accepted her death a long while ago. When she left the first time.

when her heart couldn’t withstand the pressures of her household, her Dad that was dying, her Mother that was running, and her siblings, autistic, speech impaired and the last, barely walking.

And Her. My 13 year old warrior. Holding true and strong.

i wonder about my baby leaving this world.

and i know it’d break my heart.

Ive felt my heartbreak time and time again since she ran the first time. And i know my stubborn spirit would keep me here.

it would keep on fighting even though my heart was dead.

It’d find her inside of different kids and out in the world when we let nature in.

im old, and my spirit, my soul,

is just used to doing what It’s done all my life.

it has survived. It has thrived and then It Lives again. Falling in love with the unity of our oneness, dying, dying, dying

just to live again.

just to love again.

Just to keep on going again and again and again.

my baby my heartbreaks for the world we were born into.

But if there was no world of this state, there would be no You.

unconsciousness birthed your soul into this plane.

and Love will grow you here all the same.